THINGS WE ALL DO IN PUBLIC TOILETS (BUT WON'T ADMIT)

Just a few thoughts I've had during past few cubicle visits.
Don't lie - We all do them.

• THE RING

memecentre.com

FROM BROWN TO BLONDE TO BLONDE TO BROWN

I don't find going to the hairdressers relaxing. I find it stressful. 

If they're not scalping you they're dying your hair some random colour you didn't ask for or pushing products/treatments on you that you don't need or want. 

The biggest scare your hair faces is of course transitioning from brown to blonde. Not to fear, I have done this transition many a time. Call me your hairy god mother. 

I got told by a lot of hairdressers to "grow it out." Grow.it.out. Don't they realise how LONG that would take? Of course they do, they're hairdressers!

What self-hair-respecting person would wait years to just GROW it out?

THE BIG TWO ZERO

On the 3rd of the 3rd I turned 20. Adult, officially ... (apparently.) So I have decided to write about my transition from teenie weenie teenager in to fully fledged, responsible, adult. You can apply inverted commas if you like. 

PET PEEVES OF NEWCASTLE

1. Sluts. Sluts calling other sluts sluts. Male and female. There's male sluts calling other male sluts, female sluts calling male sluts, male sluts calling female sluts, pro sluts calling the amateur sluts sluttier sluts than they are sluts, but the fact is they're all sluts. No it's not a nice word but it's becoming more evident every second, especially in Newcastle, that romance is dead. 

If you want a romance like they had in the 60's where you went on dates to carnivals and the boy asked to kiss you or serenaded you from your window at 2am then read a book or watch Grease because it's rarer than fairy dust now and that is because of all these IN DENIAL SLUTS. 

Admit you a hoe or just be nice to each other.