PET PEEVES OF NEWCASTLE

1. Sluts. Sluts calling other sluts sluts. Male and female. There's male sluts calling other male sluts, female sluts calling male sluts, male sluts calling female sluts, pro sluts calling the amateur sluts sluttier sluts than they are sluts, but the fact is they're all sluts. No it's not a nice word but it's becoming more evident every second, especially in Newcastle, that romance is dead. 

If you want a romance like they had in the 60's where you went on dates to carnivals and the boy asked to kiss you or serenaded you from your window at 2am then read a book or watch Grease because it's rarer than fairy dust now and that is because of all these IN DENIAL SLUTS. 

Admit you a hoe or just be nice to each other.

2. But why is everyone so obsessed with 'numbers'? Who honestly cares how many people someones slept with? When we're all dead, we're dead. Our gravestones won't have "really decent gal, only slept with 4 people" carved on it. Everything is so focused around sex, I don't know about other cities but here, in Newcastle, it's ridiculous. 
If you're a virgin you obviously have some massive malfunction or you're frigid or you're a freak. If you're more promiscuous you must obviously be some kind of raging, sex addict with no morals ... um?

3. What annoys me even more however is DOUBLE standards. One rule for the boy and another for us girls. NO. If you're a boy who deems it perfectly acceptable to act like a little tramp and bonk about, if you're a boy who can't remember the name of everyone he's slept with, If this is you then you my friend, are.a.slut. Just like if a girl did it. There's no 'get out of jail free' card just because you have a penis.

 There's an underlying rule that if something is bad, it's bad for everyone. So all skanks can be labelled skanks together regardless of their sex. 

4. But then again, some men are just being honest! 

You can't bonk all of Newcastle then wonder why you got called the 'S' word.

5. The kind of girls who act deep to try and sound "sophisticated."  

'You don't know me' blah blah blah 'I'm so complicated', 'I'm so different', 'don't judge me', 'I'm quirky', 'Oh kiss me in the rain because I'm so damaged and wash the pain and trauma of boys before you away' kind of female when they're about as deep as a wad of spit, acting as if they're "down with the lads" or wearing trainers with a dress because they're "not like the other girls", shut up!

6. Why don't you just keep your business to yourself?? I hear you non-Newcastlers ask. Well ... you can't. Everyone in Newcastle knows everyone. You're either all related, everyone is someones ex, one of your mates has beef with that someone you just met so you can no longer be friends with them because that's 'friendship code', that girl you constantly see in town on nights out actually used to bang your boyfriend, that lad behind the bar is the one that that girl you met last week in the toilets on a night out was telling you about, everyone met on a 'session', everyone at some point or another then banged on another 'session', that boy gave your sister chlamydia, that girl cheated on your best mate, that guy is seeing that lass you know of but you also known of him getting with that other girl the other week who wasn't his girlfriend, your mate punched them one time, thats the girl who always has her boobs out on facebook, thats the boy your flatmate did a season with last year and fancied but thats the lass he chose over your mate and thats his new girlfriend, thats someone you went to school with who now lives with someone you know from work, that's the boy who gives you a pound cheaper entrance fee, he's off Geordie shore, that's the girl who commented on your boyfriends status one time, that's the boy who is all over your newsfeed, blah blah blah. Everyone literally knows everyone. Rumours spread way too quick, especially around the diamond strip. There are no secrets and actually, barely any truths because half of the stuff you hear is made anyway. 

7. Meal plans are boring. No body cares. Not about tupper ware, not about your broccoli, not about your chicken, not about your rice, no body cares. Eat your boring food in silence.
Everyone in Newcastle who has a bicep is now a personal trainer apparently, unless your food gets up off the table and runs away or you fall off the treadmill in front of everyone and got it on video, no one cares. 

8. Nando's isn't cheeky. 

9. Honestly, these have to be the worst. Basic Bitches!! 

• Wearing gym pants to take a photo for Instagram with some stupid gym hashtag when they've never went to the gym in their life. 
• Preaching about how much they have their life together and how much of an un basic bitch they are when they spend their life doing seasons in Maga and barely have 4 GCSE's. 
• Proclaiming they're forever alone whilst texting 4 boys at the same time.
• Pouting in public, videoing it then uploading it to facebook with a caption trying to fool people the video is of something in the background i.e. a cat but you can't see the cat because of their stupid lip fillers and fake boobs taking up all the screen.
• Acting dumb when ... they're not dumb. Acting dumb because its apparently funny. Acting dumb for whatever reason. 
• Trying to sound smart when they're actually really dumb. Stick to cheeky nandos and your "PHD in pulling birds" crack please.
• Eating foods they've heard are healthy i.e Kale or Greek Yogurt and proclaiming it to everyone as if it's breaking news followed by ten million instagram photos.  
• Whenever a big world wide event happens everyone seems to whack a politics degree out from under their belt to gain a few likes when in actual fact they don't know what they're talking about and half of it is made up to get a bit attention. 
• People who like the Kardashians. 
• People who exaggerate all of their stories. 
• People who claim they know EVERYONE in some way, or if you've been to Tenerife they've been to Elevenorife.  

Photos are credited to GoogleImages (I do not own them)