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Monday 26 October 2015

ANOTHER CASE OF 'NICE GUY SYNDROME'


Recently I've seen a lot of hate directed towards girls from men, or should I say ... boys, on social media especially. I feel as a young woman myself, we put up with a lot of, well, shit basically, from the opposite sex; and at times it feels like we just can't win. 


Yesterday I seen "man" post a link of the photo below posted by another "man", with plenty more "men" jumping on the band wagon in the comments. It went a long the lines of saying all girls complain of not being able to find a nice boy and girls need to get over themselves because nice boys do exist but we think we're too good for them, it then went on to say that with out make up and fake hair and nice clothes and sucky-in pants and fake tan that we are actually all really ugly too so we're no better than anyone and we have no right to be choosy because we're actually naturally ugly so ugly people should take what they get.




I promise, I'm not an angry feminist but this to me is just another example of double standards at its best. Another pig headed guy with nice guy syndrome insulting women because they look "fake", being a massive hypocrite and going against their own rant by then pursuing the type of girl they label in this post, then wondering why no one wants to date them, boo hoo. Cry me a river!


Do ALL girls complain about being single and not being able to find a 'nice' boy? Every single one of us? ... No.



What even is a 'nice' boy anyway? Are we all categorised nice or not nice and that's it, I'm pretty sure everyone has nice and not nice traits, we all do 'not nice' things, it doesn't make us a nasty person and looks definitely don't define how 'nice' we are. 



Should we be obliged to like someone just because they like us? Grow up. I've fancied people and they've not fancied me, no need for a grudge. People have fancied me and I've not been interested in them, does that mean I think I'm too good for them? Absolutely not.



You can't force attraction. It's something that just happens. Chemistry. If it's not there, it isn't there, simple as. It has nothing to do with leagues, or thinking you're better than someone. 



Who's to say that someone has to be drop dead gorgeous to be considered attractive to someone? I've been attracted to people just by mannerisms, the way they hold themselves, their voice, even something strange about them. Just because I personally find someone attractive, it doesn't mean someone else will, it's personal preference and not always to do with physical appearance so his whole post doesn't really make much sense.  



That's the first flaw with this boys statement. 




The second, is it wrong for a girl to have some standards these days?


I have standards. Does that make me stuck up? 

I'm not the best of looking at all. Yeah I look alright after I've painted my face, stuck in false hair, wore high heels to make me taller, pants to make me slimmer, ultimately all of this to make me "prettier", exactly what the boy said, but ... do I do it for boys? NO. I do it for myself. I don't spend hours getting ready to please the male generation, I do it to please myself and feel confident about myself, it doesn't mean "I think I'm a model" as this boy implies. 


Maybe the reasons girls do faff on with appearance so much has something to do with boys in the first place. Girls are slated for looking fake = they must be ugly. Girls slated for being "ugly" = not fake/not wearing enough makeup etc. Erm, hello ... Am I the only one seeing the viscous circle here?



Too quick to judge if you ask me. No one's perfect, the end. 



So, according to this boys theory. I spend hours faking myself up, I then go out, I HAVE to speak to whatever boy speaks to me even if I'm not attracted to them or don't particularly want to because "they could be a nice guy" and it's rude of me not to and I must think I'm better than them if I don't? Really?  



If we flip this theory to boys saying all girls are 'sluts', which they do, how are they defining 'slut'? By what the girl looks like? Men are slating us girls for making an effort in our appearance, as if it's a bad thing, it isn't. At the end of the day it's these same exact boys who follow the girls of the description above around the club like lost puppies - so basically, this whole statement is a massive hypocrisy. He's saying we don't go for 'nice guys', the average Joe as he describes, but do boys go for the plain Jane? Nope, most the time, the plain Jane type doesn't get a second glance either. I don't really like how this guy seems to think that all average looking people must be nice and all top of the league in looks people must be mean. How simple can you get? 



If you want my opinion. I think this statement was written by one of many men who are sick of getting shut down by women, women who maybe just maybe, might have a bit of respect for themselves. Why should girls be easy? Just because women have gotten a bit of confidence behind them and aren't such an easy pull it makes them stuck up, so it's their own fault they're single? What if the girl WANTS to be single? I do. I have no interest in "getting with" boys on a night out, I go out to have fun with my friends, it has nothing to do with me thinking I'm out of someones league, as I'm sure many girls will agree. I actively choose to be single. As for the girls who "moan" about there being no decent guys out there, have you read the status the guy posted? It's written by a guy doing the exact same thing except he's being a lot less intelligent and more judgy, not exactly making himself look "nice" is he? It's guys who say or agree with statements like his that make girls moan about boys. 




It's not us girls that have the problem, it's this new-breed of so called 'men' and their stinking attitude. Boys have forgotten how to be men, chivalry has went out the window. Instead, it's became a thing to attack women and everything they do just because their attitude stinks, girls catch on to it, and ultimately they end up with no one wanting them.


Yes us girls like make-up, we like fake hair, we like fake nails, we like fake tan, yes it makes us look better but at least we can feel better about ourselves if we want to. 


Yes there are nice boys out there, I know that. The boys preaching this are clearly referring to themselves as if they're  the nice boys but the boys I see, agreeing with this, aren't nice. They're the ones calling girls fat and ugly if they don't match the description in the post above, making them feel self conscious and like they're not good enough for anyone; the kind of boy that is one of the reasons girls might wear make-up. Not a nice guy in my book.



I know this seems a bit general and both sides of the argument are built on stereotypes but NO ONE is perfect, it's time people stopped acting like they are and stopped letting other peoples life choices, that have nothing to do with them, affect them so much. 



If I want to contour myself cheekbones, give myself gold eyelids, make myself tanner, myself taller, my hair longer, I will and boys are the dumb ones for believing I have naturally gold eyelids and bone structure like Angelina Jolie. 



So to a boy that maybe agrees with the guy above. Yeah, we'll both wake up the next morning, ALONE, I'll probably look like shit but so will you, except I can pop some more foundation on and be done with it - not much you can do for yourself ... or your stinking attitude :-)